I'm so tired. I drank the equivalent of 8 standard drinks yesterday. Why? To escape. I tried convincing myself not to, bug I just wanted that sense of tranquility so bad. Now I'm... M - $65 poorer E - Too exhausted to get out of bed L - Smoked cigarettes M - Feeling super depressed and low F - Consumed at least 1000 calories from booze alone S - Had bad dreams
I have this urge to die. It's not a conscious desire, but deep down inside there's this push to just end it all. I feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of stuff I need to do in order to be a successful human by my own standards which are the only ones that matter. I feel completely out of control with my eating and I'm so damn tired all of the time. I just want to die. I don't want to be a parent anymore to a verbally abusive kid. I have 7 years of unfiled taxes. There's a lien on my house because Dan didn't deal with the strata. I can't seem to make enough money to pad up my bank account and my Etsy sales have dwindled. Fuck my life right now. I'm so depressed. I feel beyond unmotivated to do anything.
Money Energy Longevity Mood Fitness Sleep Money: More money to spend on going surfing, making home furnishings, saving for renos, pumping into business ventures, buying clothes, cosmetic procedures, a housekeeper etc. Energy: Let's be real, you get a sense of purpose from getting things accomplished and you need energy to do that. Ain't nobody got time for a hangover and also you're not 20 so you need all the help that you can get. Less booze = more energy. Longevity: This is building on that last one. The longer you live, the more stuff you get to experience. Overindulgence in booze means you'll smoke and put yourself at greater risk for a whole host of diseases which are largely preventable. Plus you wanna have a good quality of life in your older years too, right? Mood: Fucking with your GABA and Seretonin levels is a recipe for unnecessary mood disorders. Mood affects EVERYTHING!!! It affects your enjoyment of life, relationships, motivation, physical health, abil...
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